


Safe and Sound

by JeziBelle



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Fix-It, M/M, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-24
Updated: 2012-05-24
Packaged: 2017-11-05 22:31:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/411710
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeziBelle/pseuds/JeziBelle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>See? Nothing to worry about. Clint's swath of destruction hadn’t had any impact on anyone he cared about at all, especially not his significant other who he hadn’t seen since his will was controlled by an otherworldly god of chaos and trickery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Safe and Sound

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics from 'Safe and Sound' by Sheryl Crow

_Maybe this is forever_  
 _Forever fades away_  
 _Like a rocket ascending into space_  
 _Could you not be sad?_  
 _Could you not break down?_  
 _After all, I won’t let go..._

She hadn’t told him everything. He knew her well enough to tell, and she knew he knew her well enough, so the fact that she’d kept something from him despite knowing that he’d see right through it was significant, and a bit unsettling.  But then Manhattan had started exploding while he was in the john, and Captain Fucking America was giving him flight orders, and Natasha being afraid of telling him something fell several spots down the priority list.

Clint had been radioed back to the Helicarrier before he’d even gotten halfway through his sandwich. As he glanced out the window of the dispatched helicopter before it took off, he saw Steve gesture at him and say something to Natasha. A look of pain flickered across her face as she shook her head ‘no’.

Something alarming and dreadful began to rise in the back of Clint’s mind, but he couldn’t quite place it.

When he got back on board, and Nick Fury looked at him with a little sympathetic apprehension, his heart dropped. “Barton,” he said curtly. “You missed a lot while you were incapacitated...”

Clint wiped his hands on his pants. “I took out two engines with two arrows and you think I was incapacitated?”

“You missed a lot,” Fury repeated, calmly, but even that bit of self-defensive sass didn’t seem to upset him, and then Clint _really_ started worrying.  “Agent Hill is going to debrief you on it. She’ll be in your room in a few minutes.”

A private debriefing in his room? Were they going to tell him something they thought would send him into a Banner-level rage? He nodded slowly, heading down the hallway, his eyes darting into and around each section of the ship as he approached his room. Everyone and everything seemed present and accounted for, though he didn’t know where--

He stopped short halfway down the hall to his room. The looming specter in the back of his mind peered around the clouds. He didn’t drop his bow, but his muscles loosened enough that the handle slid from his grip, his fingers catching on the string.

He still remembered everything that he’d done under Loki’s thrall -- less brainwashing, more will-washing; the staff against the heart wasn’t coincidence -- and he knew, was 100% positive, he hadn’t laid eyes on Phil the entire time. He’d been on the periphery of the base when it collapsed; there was no way he hadn’t made it out.  He hadn’t been anywhere near any of the areas combat was happening on the ship either, and most of the major structural damage hadn’t been near inhabitable areas of the carrier anyway.

So he had nothing to worry about. Phil was fine. Phil was always fine.

He sat hard in his desk chair, spinning around in circles before turning on his computer to keep his mind occupied until Maria got there.  It chirped helpfully to alert him to two new messages -- one of the guys in Flagstaff wanted review on some training materials for their snipers, though it was a new name, not the agent Clint had worked with before.  The other was from Natasha, sent just after he’d taken off from Manhattan.

_T: AGT C BARTON  
F: AGT N ROMANOFF  
SUBJ: [ NO SUBJECT ]_

_Call if you need me._

See? Nothing to worry about. His swath of destruction hadn’t had any impact on anyone he cared about at all, especially not his significant other who he hadn’t seen since his will was controlled by an otherworldly god of chaos and trickery.

A few more minutes passed. Hill was taking her time.  Fury was a bastard. Clint opened the message from Flagstaff.  
 _  
T: AGT C BARTON  
F: AGT D ABBELA - SW DIV  
SUBJ: [SECURE] [URGENT] Q3 Training Materials For Review_

_Clint--_

Wait, really? Who did this guy think he was?

_I hope you read this before anyone talks to you. If they already have, you don’t know how sorry I am for the emotional whiplash. If not, please try your best to look appropriately crushed when they do._

_The official SHIELD word that you have been or will be given is that I was killed during your attack on the helicarrier, stabbed by Loki while trying to keep a spat of extradimensional sibling rivalry from going nuclear on us. I cannot express to you just how official that word is. It is “you, me and Fury” official, and my position and track record are the only things keeping me from being taken out back and shot when he finds out I sent this email._

_The stabbing part was true, and I was pretty certain the dying was about to be; my attempt at valiant last words is apparently what gave Fury the bright idea of telling everyone I was down (ask him about them if you can get him alone or manage to look sad enough in front of others. They were pretty good). By the time I got through surgery, the entire scheme had been plotted and this identity had been set up for me. I have system access from where I am now, and I’ll be flying out to Flagstaff as soon as they’ll let me out of bed._

_At any rate, I’ll be doing most of the directorial legwork out there now with the help of some hair dye and a mustache, which looks just as ridiculous as you think. It’s not permanent; Fury knows he won’t keep me off the Initiative forever, especially not after what you accomplished today. I couldn’t be more proud of all of you, and of you. Some people who go through lesser states of will control than you did are damaged for weeks or months over it; I wasn’t shocked at all to see you bouncing back and into the fray so quickly. I got the full news coverage and all the internal communications. All my favorite things about you were on full display today. It just made not even getting a proper goodbye that much harder. Unfortunately, you can’t do it alone, so if I have to hide out until Stark and Cpt. Rogers can refrain from killing each other outside of civilization-threatening combat, I will._

_I’ll stay in as much touch I can; it will mostly be official with what personal notes I can slip in, since these secure messages raise a lot of suspicion. Just know that I’m well here, that I’ll be back with you as soon as I can, and that I love you with all my heart._

_\-- Phil_

_P.S. Natasha doesn’t know. I suggest you refuse to discuss me; she’ll read it all over your face._

_P.P.S. Agent Abbela has been out since college, so my cellist is male and in New Jersey now. Baby steps._

Clint read the letter over repeatedly, committing every word to memory -- he’d definitely need to delete it. But not yet. Not for a little while. He leaned back in his chair for a moment, taking deep breaths, attempting to smother the bittersweet smile on his face and regain the fretful concern he’d had when he walked in.

It was still bad. He’d been hurt badly and... well, was functionally gone. He had no idea when he’d see his lover again, hear his voice, see him smile, squeeze his hand comfortingly under the table during meetings. If he hadn’t been fearing what he did before reading it, it would have been devastating.

But knowing what could have been -- what almost was -- what fate had intervened to prevent -- well, it hurt a lot less than it could have.

Clint heard a soft knock on the door. “Agent Barton?”

He moved from his chair onto the bed, leaning heavily onto his knees, and looked up at the door with plaintive, nervous eyes. “Come in.”  


_  
I don’t want to be lonely  
I don’t want to be scared  
All our friends are waiting there  
Until you’re safe and sound._


End file.
